So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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