I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
