Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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