FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
