Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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