how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
