I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
