before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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