Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
