Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
