Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
