do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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