Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
