I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
