Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
