Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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