i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
