yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
