He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
