We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
