Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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