its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
