Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
