I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
