Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize