Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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