shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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