I think my vagina is haunted
Too much gin, very little bucket
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
