i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
