Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Don't tell me you're on acid again
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
