maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
