Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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