I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
