why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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