i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
