That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Fuck appropriateness.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
