Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
