How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize