I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I could make wine with my vomit
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
