The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
