I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize