Sponge bath it is.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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