This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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