Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Panties = found
Randomize
