are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
