sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
