it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Oh god it's open bar.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
