My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
