I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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