dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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