sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
