I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
