Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
