I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
