I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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