I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
