I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize