Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
