there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
